Good morning! It should come as no surprise that the secret to living a rich, full and happy life lies in the second sentence of this quote. Every time we face a difficulty we have two choices: wilt or grow--it is that simple. We can complain about the difficulty, analyze it, dislike it, think it is unfair or unjust--and we might be right. But that doesn't matter. Whether we are right or wrong, the difficulty remains. We can make the difficulty a statue in our life by focusing on it, or we can make the difficulty crumble, by growing and stepping past it.

This concept applies to all difficulties--not just the "little things." As some of you know, my one and only sibling died suddenly when I was 23. He was my "big brother" and a father figure to me as my parents had divorced shortly after I was born and I did not keep in regular contact with my father. Part of me wanted to "wilt." Part of me wanted to give up--curse what felt unjust and unfair. We were a small family of 3 and now we were a family of 2 and it didn't seem fair. Something within me though refused to wilt.

I used that experience to create a book to help others called "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: surviving, coping and healing after the sudden death of a loved one." At the time (2000) no such book was available. I co-authored the book with a doctor I had known, Pamela D. Blair. Little did I know when Caleb died that the United States would face the tragedy and shock of 9/11. This book went on to become the bestselling grief book on the market, and I received many letters, calls and emails from those who lost family and friends in the terrorist attacks. Since then, I have continued to receive many letters that have touched my heart. Does this make my brother's death "just" or "fair?" Of course not. But it does give it meaning and purpose. Instead of "wilting," my brother and I took this experience and used it to help thousands upon thousands of others.

That story is an example of being a true optimist. It isn't that we ignore or pretend the bad doesn't exist, but when the bad comes to our door, we create something bigger that matters. While we may lose loved ones, possessions, love, friends, or physical abilities--there is one thing we never lose-- hope.

Your turn:
Where have you been seeing difficulty instead of opportunity? How would it feel to remove the stone statue of "difficulty" and replace it with fertile ground for hope to grow? What can you do today to begin crumbling that status?

Your affirmation:
I greet each moment with hope.

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