“Always
do right. This
will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.”
~ Mark Twain
Good
Morning!
When my daughter
was in the difficult middle school years
featured in movies like Mean Girls,
she lashed out at a bully who had been picking on her. When I
asked her why, she explained she as
following the golden rule “treating others as they were treating her.”
I explained that although that is how much of
society lives, she had the golden rule backward. I explained
that she was half-right. If the bully was practicing the
golden rule,
then she wouldn’t pick on Sammy in the first place – but just because
the bully
picked on her, that didn’t make it right to lash back.
Then
I uttered all those wise statements that we get to say
as moms like, “If a friend told you to jump off a bridge, would you?”
and “Two
wrongs don’t make a right.” My daughter,
being the inquisitive child she is, wanted to know how far the bridge
was from
the water (in case it would be fun, like a diving board). She
also wanted to know if two wrongs don’t
equal a right, what do they equal, because in algebra two negatives
make a
positive.
I felt myself
quickly losing ground in the conversation. I switched paths
completely. I asked Sammy, “Do you want to be like this
other girl? Is she a mentor?” My daughter rolled
her eyes, appalled at the
thought. I explained that one of the
basic success principles is to identify what qualities you desire, find
someone
who has them, and emulate them. I didn’t
have to go any further – she understood the outcome of emulating the
actions of
this girl. Yet she also seemed
troubled. “But that isn’t fair. Why do I have to
lead by example if other
girls aren’t?”
I
asked Sammy to imagine a world where we all treated each
other like other people treated us, instead treating others how we want
to be
treated. We quickly
saw a war-filled
world, with harsh words and hurt feelings. “Someone has to find a
better way,”
I told her. She seemed ready to end the conversation, although I could
see her
mind was spinning.
The next day she
came home from school and told me she and
another girl had encouraged the start of an anti-bullying group in
their
school. The group has dramatically
reduced the bullying challenges of the school.
When
today’s quote came across my screen, I wished I would
have had it handy during my conversation with my daughter. Always do right. This will gratify some
people, and astonish
the rest. Often
times, we “do right” not
by following the rules, but by forging new paths where they are
desperately
needed. We “do
right” because we gratify
and astonish others – and ourselves.
A
life filled with gratitude and astonishment is a much better life than
one
where we point fingers and live a backward golden rule.
Your Turn: How do you
live the golden rule in your own life?
Do you take the higher road and “do right”
even when it is the most
challenging choice?
Today’s Affirmation:
Every day, I make the right choices at every juncture.
