“The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity.  The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”  ~ Winston Churchill

Good Morning!

It should come as no surprise that the secret to living a rich, full, and happy life lies in the second sentence of this quote.  Every time we face a difficulty we have two choices: wilt or grow.  It is that simple.  We can complain about the difficulty, analyze it, dislike it, think that it is unfair or unjust – and we might be right.  But that doesn’t matter.  Whether we are right or wrong, the difficulty remains.  We can make the difficulty a statue in our life by focusing on it, or we can make the difficulty crumble, by growing and stepping past it.

This concept applies to all difficulties – not just the “little things.”  My one and only sibling died suddenly when I was twenty-three.  He was my big brother and a father figure to me, as my parents divorced shortly after I was born, and I did not keep in regular contact with my father.  Part of me wanted to “wilt.”  Part of me wanted to give up, to curse what felt unjust and unfair.  We were a small family of three and now we were a family of two and it didn’t seem fair.  Something within me, though, refused to wilt.

I used that experience to create a book to help others, called I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye:  Surviving, Coping, and Healing after the Sudden Death of a Loved One.  At the time (2000), no such book was available.  I coauthored the book with a doctor I had known, Pamela D. Blair.  Little did I know when Caleb died that the United States would face the tragedy and shock of 9/11.  This book went on to become the best-selling grief book on the market, and I received many letters, calls, and emails from those who lost friends and family in the terrorist attacks.  Since then, I have continued to receive many letters that have touched my heart.  Does this make my brother’s death “just” or “fair?”  Of course not.  But it does give it meaning and purpose.  Instead of “wilting,” my brother and I took this experience and used it to help thousands upon thousands of others.

That story is an example of being a true optimist.  It isn’t that we ignore or pretend that the bad doesn’t exist, but when the bad comes to our door, we create something bigger that matters more.  While we may lose loved ones, possessions, love, friends, physical abilities – there is one thing we never lose: hope.

Your Turn:  Where have you been seeing difficulty instead of opportunity?  How would it feel to remove the stone statue of “difficulty” and replace it with fertile ground for hope to grow?  What can you do today to begin crumbling that statue?

Today’s Affirmation:  I greet each moment with hope.